It's all crude mood and attitude around here lately. I live in a two bedroom apartment with three women. I ask you, wouldn't any sane man have his patience tested in the best of conditions??? Well, I just went from being a regular working stiff to being home twenty-four/seven. Hello? I love each and every one of these women, truly, but when tempers begin to fray and the monthly hormone explosion creates a shockwave that would level the crowd at a World Wrestling Federation match it's difficult not to hide behind a mask of indifference. I've been contributing my own brand of heartless comments without thinking about the sensitive ears listening. As it is, every person in this apartment has had her feelings hurt, several times, and I've said that I'm sorry more times than Oliver North. Family life can be a little hazardous... it's downright extreme when you're bipolar.
Today's top ten, therefore, is going to reflect my current situation...
The Top Ten Things To Install In A Luxury Doghouse:
10. Drool cloth dispenser.
9. High-Definition Smell-o-Vision.
8. Hot & cold running toilet water.
7. Authentic "Chase The Car" treadmill.
6. A.C.M.E. inflatable leg. (for those lonely nights at home)
5. Hydrant with infrared flush-o-matic sensor.
4. Crunchy cat crap vending machine.
3. "Just like the real thing" sun-lamp.
2. Butt-scent spray and sniff station.
and the number one thing to install in a luxury doghouse:
1. Ronco meaty bone burying oven.
