I can use this blog to gripe about anything I want. I finally have a way to bitch about all the spam I get at home and, more especially, at work! I'm not joking, here. I have to filter THOUSANDS of junk e-mail every single day. After a normal weekend my filters caught eight thousand out of ten thousand junk e-mails. But I spent the first two hours of my day just going through the rest.
I'm telling the world at large, right now...
I don't want to gain three inches, it'll ruin my whole wardrobe.
I've no interest in lasting thirty-six hours, that would kill my fiancee.
I don't want to sign up for a dating service for horny housewives, they need marriage counseling instead.
I don't need every e-mail address in the world on one CD, I can barely keep track of my address book as it is.
I don't believe that an internet millionaire wants to share his secrets with me.
I don't believe that I can't share in the inheritance from the death of an African royal.
I'm aware that my computer may contain a virus, website information, cookies and various pastries, as well. Your product isn't needed to delete it. I know how to clear my cache, site history and use my freakin' delete key.
I don't believe I sent you an application for a damn mortgage.
No one told you that I'd be fun to talk to and should check out your pics.
I've no interest in the key to four hundred porn sites... hell, I don't even want one.
I don't want/need prescription medication for impotence, hair loss (okay, I may need that one) or pain from an offshore pharmacy that has the lowest prices.
I don't want to learn how to stop annoying e-mails from the people sending them to me.
I can't read Chinese, Korean or Russian and the German I know tells me that the guys sending all the e-mails about German tourists being murdered needs to start his own online zine and leave the rest of the news to the professionals because I don't want it in my damned inbox.
I invest poorly enough on my own (I own several shares of an investment company that I worked for) and I don't need advice from random e-mails.
No, I'm not fat anymore, but you calling me that wouldn't entice me to buy your stinking pills.
My fiancee has not informed me that she'll leave me if I don't buy your product that will magically make me a legendary love god... you lied to me and that makes me very angry. Go away.
Your software prices aren't the cheapest and I don't want to pay to have illegal pirated copies shipped from India, Korea or anywhere else overseas, thanks.
I haven't even financed the first time so I don't need to refinance, besides I get enough crap about my lousy credit from people I trust.
My final observation...
If you don't know how to spell I'M NOT BUYING ANYTHING FROM YOU!
Have a great Monday, everybody, and keep smiling!
