I was supposed to log in and update with a holiday top ten. Yeah, that was the plan. Every time I've hunkered down in front of this silly computer (that I'm trying to earn a living with) there is always something that prevents me from finishing the entry. I've got several drafts saved but now the holidays are over they'll be getting deleted. So much for good intentions. The new top ten is about the aftermath of the holidays.
The holidays were bittersweet for us. We had fun but mixed in were the trials and tribulations of family turmoil both in our little apartment and the extended family we saw during those obligatory get togethers. It's amazing how fast things can go from bad to worse when family members jump in and try to fix things. You know, I was going to sit and bitch about all the things that I went through over the holidays but I've changed my mind. I'll get it out but keep it short and sweet with an a-typically (NOT!) tongue-in-cheek top ten.
The Top Ten Things Heard During Family Holiday Parties:
10. You know, you've been moody since you started potty training.
9. (From the one holding the electric knife) Do you want to fight or can I just carve the *&#!@* turkey?
8. Screw the food... where's the egg nog? (Yes, that one was me.)
7. If you people don't shut up long enough to let me bless the food I'm going to hurt someone.
6. I think Dad's either watching the football game or yelling at your brother again.
5. Fine, I'm taking my triple chocolate fudge nutty chewy goodness bars and going home.
4. Buying gifts for three year olds is tough. I can't tell if she's more excited about the wrapping, the box or the Barbie that she just threw in the fireplace.
3. Hey! Tree trimmings do NOT include pets, silverware, underwear or anything that is supposed to be on the table for dinner!
2. I asked you to put on some Christmas music. To date, I'm not sure that Snoop Dogg has actually released a holiday CD.
and the number one thing heard during holiday family parties:
1. Naked, dancing on tables, flirting with every guy in the room... yep, grandpa's had too much to drink.
I hope your New Year is turning out to be all that you hoped for... and then some.
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."
~Anton Chekhov
